Don’t Believe Everything You Think

At a dinner with friends, one of the guys, says, “My buddy was bragging about going to base camp at Mt. Everest. I mean, brag about getting to the top, but base camp? Come on.” Turns out two couples present had made the very difficult climb to base camp! Cringe. They quite kindly educated the uninformed about why anyone who accomplishes this feat has bona fide bragging rights.

The first friend believed getting to base camp, the starting point for the arduous hike to the top of Mt. Everest, was quite easy. The equivalent of pulling up your SUV and unloading your gear. But we all learned that it takes months of physical training. You have to fly into Lukla, Nepal, considered one of the most dangerous airports in the world. Then trek about 6 miles each day, on steep inclines in thin air, nerves tightly wound, exhausted, just hoping you don’t misstep and tumble down the side of the mountain. The trails aren’t very wide and most of the time you are walking along icy cliff edges with steep drops. Did you know you can die from altitude sickness?  The first friend was impressed and to his credit, grateful to upgrade his beliefs.

Operating systems, apps and passwords periodically need upgrading. Perhaps the same should be said for our beliefs. Holding a belief too tightly, with extreme certainty especially, means we won’t upgrade periodically with new information. Do we really want to be that person who, without actually talking to someone with experience first, disparagingly says “Base camp? Come on!”?

What Are Your Beliefs Around Divorce?

Do you think that the couple just didn’t try hard enough? Think they could’ve made it work with more effort, counseling, or faith? If so, speak with someone who spent decades in a loveless marriage, desperately fighting to hold it all together. I suggest you talk to the person who has endured years of emotional or physical abuse about her experience in trying to make things work. For me, practicing family law changed my beliefs after hearing heartbreaking stories from clients who didn’t want divorce.

Do you believe that a divorce should be pretty simple? You get half the stuff and half the time with the kids and that’s about all there is to it? Do you believe every dollar of child support should be accounted for and only used on direct expenses for the children? Do you believe that signing a set of documents means you are divorced? I can’t begin to list the misconceptions that have been shared with me over the years. Unless you’ve been to law school, your understanding of divorce and its complexities likely needs an upgrade. If you are considering divorce, you can schedule a reduced fee “Belief Upgrade” meeting with us to learn before making a decision.

Don’t believe everything you think. And before you say, “Base Camp? Come on!”  check yourself first, ask if you actually have firsthand experience about your belief, and look for ways to upgrade. Even then, it’s worth holding our beliefs lightly—until the next update is issued.

Wishing you wisdom,

Deborah