Effective Ways to Present the Benefits of Collaborative Divorce
November 26, 2024They are here again. The holidays bring pleasures and pressures, parties and pounds, presents and prospects for plans for a new year. Perfect time to pause and reflect on all the accomplishments you’ve impressed yourself and those around you this year.
But are you giving yourself enough credit? Probably not.
So here’s my annual encouragement to take stock of your accomplishments! For some years now, I have been writing a “20 Accomplishments of This Year” list. Yes, 20. If you’re like me, the first 10-12 will flow fairly easily. But 20 forces an appreciation for things that were actually quite important in retrospect but not top of mind. Take Inventory, We Accomplish More Than We Think.
Writing them out in a journal or notebook makes a difference–takes a bit more time to scribble it out on paper. And that’s the point! Take some time so that life doesn’t just fly by without notice.
Hack: give yourself a memory assist and review the last 12 months of your calendar to recall forgotten experiences of the year. Some will be more pleasant than others. And yet all were opportunities for growth and evolution—even if we would not have chosen to evolve!
I’ll share a few accomplishments which were meaningful to me with the hope that they might inspire you to get started!
1. Dealing—and Redealing—with Death
My mom passed away in August. This December marks 10 years since the world lost Kathy Hickman, my true friend and colleague for many years. Next week marks 8 years since my dad died. I accomplished not holding back tears as my sister and I spent the last days with our mom and all our siblings held each other at her funeral. For some reason, this anniversary of losing Kathy has made me very weepy the last few days (and here they start again). And I’m letting them. I count the ability to not hold back tears as an accomplishment.
2. Building and Supporting our Team
I have the rich blessing of a team at B&A that I adore! Kathy would have loved them all and they her. It’s a cliché but honestly, I really do look forward to coming to the office and hanging out with Gabi, Tricia, April and Andriy (when he’s in the country!). And occasionally Gabi brings her 15-month old Nora to work! Honestly, I feel like God has just blessed. In addition, I count it an accomplishment that I recognized such outstanding people and invited them to join us! And I’m proud that we do more than just work and have gone to concerts, experienced facials, taken lunches and dinners out, played pickleball and held a full-day retreat. We were awarded a “Best Place to Work” this year and we all had a part in creating that space.
3. Survived a Remodel
My husband and I lived through some remodeling projects. We’ve always said our marriage wouldn’t survive building a house together! How do we know that? Remodeling here and there the home we’ve lived in for 35 years gives us a hint! Accomplishment: we largely cooperated and are content with the result. (And we need to wait a couple years before tackling the next project!)
4. Shook up my Wake-up
I wrote about how important it is to craft our mornings with intention (Crack of Dawn Customs). And then I promptly got bored with my routine. I’d been doing pretty much the same thing for 3-4 years and I wasn’t maintaining focus and I would get sucked into reels (which should be banned!) or boards. So I threw it all out, identified the essential elements, and revamped the plan. Now I pour a cup of Joey (a game-changer), put on coat and gloves, and go outside. In the dark. In 14 degree weather if dealt that card. And I’m just…still. I look up through the trees and simply open myself up to a still small voice. I don’t stay long. But it’s important I don’t have any incoming—music, podcasts or even books. Just a little nature bathing and I love it.
I have other categories for different accomplishments such as maintaining relationships with friends, staying connected with family, and honoring various life-well-lived goals. Yours will look different and are worth some celebrating! I hope you’re inspired to set aside a few hours and come up with your own list.
Wishing you wisdom,
PS: Stay tuned for Gabi’s newsletter on Decision Fatigue if that’s kicked in for you just reading this!