
The Triangle Trap
April 9, 2025If you’re going through a divorce and the phrase “Qualified Domestic Relations Order” (QDRO) makes your eyes glaze over, you’re not alone. It sounds like something you’d need to launch a satellite, not split up a marriage.
But if you or your spouse have a retirement plan through work — 401(k), 403(b) or a pension — a QDRO isn’t just a mouthful. It’s a must.
Let’s break it down.
Why do Retirement Plans Get Split? Can’t we just each keep our own?
Retirement plans are assets “bought” during marriage just like any other asset. Instead of your company paying you a dollar—and you buy a car or a house with that dollar-you “buy” interest in a retirement plan. Perhaps your employer contributes to your retirement plan, but they did so because you worked and it’s part of your compensation package. From the court’s perspective, if you earned the retirement benefits during your marriage, it is marital property and it gets divided in a divorce just like cars and bank accounts.
Sometimes spouses have relatively equal retirement benefits. Typically then, each keeps his/her own plan and if a transfer need to be made from the larger plan to the smaller, that transfer is only the amount needed so that you each have the same amount in retirement benefits when you divorce.
Then Why Can’t We Just Split It?
You might be thinking, “We’ve already agreed how to divide everything — can’t we just write it into the divorce judgment and be done with it?”
Not when it comes to most employer-sponsored retirement plans. These plans are governed by a federal law called ERISA (Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974), which sets specific rules about how these accounts are treated.
Retirement plan administrators can’t just hand over a chunk of an employee’s (“participant’s”) account to someone else — even if a court orders it. They need a QDRO, a special court order that tells the plan how, when, and how much to pay the former spouse/ “alternate payee.”
Without it? The money stays put, and you could end up back in court trying to enforce what you thought was already settled.
QDROs in Michigan: What You Need to Know
Ok. What is it anyway? A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (“QDRO) is a specialized order which authorizes plan administrators to divide a plan that has been designated as only available upon retirement. In Michigan, if your divorce settlement includes a division of a 401(k), 403(b), pension, etc., you’ll need a QDRO.
A few key things to keep in mind:
- Timing matters. The QDRO is often prepared after the divorce is finalized, but it’s best not to wait too long. Delays can complicate things, especially if the plan changes or the participant retires. Our goal is to present it to the court at the same time a Judgment of Divorce is presented.
- They are plan-specific. Each retirement plan has its own rules and requirements, so QDROs need to be carefully tailored to fit. A generic version won’t cut it.
- They don’t change the amount awarded. The QDRO doesn’t decide who gets how much — your divorce judgment or settlement agreement does that. The QDRO just puts it into action.
But What About IRAs?
Here’s the twist: IRAs do not require a QDRO.
Traditional and Roth IRAs are not governed by ERISA, and, therefore, do not require a
QDRO to divide them. For most IRAs the process to divide them is simpler. A well-drafted divorce judgment that clearly spells out how the IRA should be divided is usually enough. Financial institutions may ask for a copy of the judgment, but not a QDRO.
Still, you’ll want to be precise in your divorce documents to avoid taxes or penalties — dividing an IRA the wrong way can cost you.
The Big Picture: Protecting What You’ve Earned
You’ve worked hard for your retirement. Whether it’s a pension earned over decades or a growing 401(k), these accounts represent your future stability — and they deserve careful attention.
A QDRO isn’t just paperwork. It’s your ticket to ensuring that the assets you’re entitled to actually make it into your hands. It also protects both parties from unexpected taxes, legal battles, or financial surprises down the road.
Final Thought
Divorce already asks so much of you emotionally — your finances shouldn’t add more chaos. Getting help with technical stuff, like QDROs, means you can stay focused on your next chapter, with confidence and peace of mind.
If you have questions about dividing retirement plans or whether your settlement needs a QDRO, don’t guess. Reach out. We’re here to help you protect your future — and make sure no detail gets left behind.
Wishing you wisdom,
Deborah
Helping you navigate change with clarity, courage, and a plan.
Note: thanks to Sharee Burkel of The QDRO Company for her review and approval of this information. She is the expert and owner of one of the companies I rely on for these specialized orders.